Aiglon Students

Mischa,Maiga & Alex in Sudan

This year, Aiglon college in Switzerland gave both Sabet and I a chance to share with the students about our work and ministry in Sudan.  It led to three students coming out last week to help us and learn more about what we do.  Maiga (18) and Mischa (17) loved working alongside our medical staff in the clinic.  They actually witnessed many things, from the joys to the tragedies.  Their first day here they helped deliver a healthy baby and just days later they witnessed a still birth.  Alex (16) helped out in the pharmacy and really connected with Donato (13 yr old boy we helped last year).  Donato was quite sad after Alex left.  Every afternoon we took them out to different villages where they played kids games with the local children. 

A Portrait of the Dinka

A Portrait of the Dinka

 

This is not a scholarly work; it is not a treatise in anthropology. This is merely my blog… so don’t let the fancy title fool you. 🙂 And you could read it as a bunch of disconnected reflections, just as you could look at a rough sketch and say it was merely black scratches on canvas. Nothing in a drawing inherently makes it an image of something else; only the intention of the artist can dictate that it forms an image, and only an observer with an eye for art can pick up its imagery. So take a little trip with me; see if you can find the intention, the theme I’m hiding in my musings.

 

The Dinka love to laugh. If you’ve ever visited them, and spoken a single word in their language, then you know what I mean; they especially love to laugh at the mispronunciation of their language, and they’ll repeat it to others or to themselves over and over (and over…) to prolong the joke. This is perhaps better than the famous cold shoulder that the French throw up at the same offense, or the patronizing or irritable response of English speakers, or the dismissal of those who speak Arabic… but it is quite annoying, unless you manage to join in the joke. They laugh as often as they give; whenever I have visited a home, the one-room hut they call a tukul, I have been offered the food they have slaved all afternoon to make, and which they barely have enough of. If three Dinka from one village visit another, the hosts will kill a goat for them; if six people make the journey, they will be fed with bull.

 

They work in groups, so they can take turns at difficult tasks – and every task is difficult in Sudan. Hear the rhythmic beat of a woman pounding sorghum, and you’ll also hear the conversation and chuckles of the others : grinding okra, carrying water from the river, stirring another pot, as she waits to be the next to raise the pole and slam it down on the grains. One man might sit in the shade of the tukul being built, telling stories as he rests; another hammers away, attaching the bamboo frame for the roof – there’s too much noise for him to hear the punch lines, but he laughs anyway; yet another straightens from plastering the walls, and wipes the sweat from his brow – then snorts in chagrin at the mud he’s left on his forehead.

 

Mud cakes their skin as well as their houses. The fabled dust of Tonj gets everywhere, gets into everything, and you either accept it or wipe down your surfaces twenty times a day. In spite of this, some Dinka wash their feet five or so times a day (if they have easy access to water); but most are easily deterred, and simply go through their day, content to be two different colours. Their lower bodies are light brown with a rust undertone – the hue that stretches as far as the eye can see during the dry season, and is thankfully covered by the richest foliage in every imaginable shade of green during the wet. Their upper bodies, on the other hand, are the intended shade: the rich black-brown of an espresso-roasted coffee bean, glossy from the oil released by the heat; or of unvarnished ebony wood that has been soaked through by a rainstorm.

 

When the Dinka sing, they beat metal pots on the ground, and their voices rise, lower, roll, sway… When the Dinka dance, it is without the sway that I know from the Caribbean; they hold their backs straight, as their legs move energetically, stamping, pounding out the beat; or they leap straight up in the air – two might face off in a circle of spectators and compete for height and endurance. When the Dinka speak, they speak softly, and will repeat as often as necessary in response to the listener’s “Eh?” but won’t raise that voice… unless they are singing, or telling one of those stories, and laughing uproariously… or unless they raise those voices in conflict.

 

The Dinka love to fight. Or so it would seem; for they do it often, for real and imagined slights. Everyone fights, whether old or young, male or female, rich or poor, heavy with child or barren. They use their fists, and rocks, and sticks, and spears, and guns, and bombs; they have not used the latter in four years or so, but the evidence of their use lives among the Dinka, overgrown by trees and vines, and blending into the land… but still there. The Dinka use their words to fight, too; if you sit outside in a quiet hour, and filter through the many sounds you hear – trucks rolling by in the distance, donkeys braying as if caught in the jaws of a lion, radios playing music in Arabic – you can also often find the sound of someone  yelling, or a child crying. As I write this, I can hear two children crying.

 

They decorate themselves with scars. When men reach adulthood, lines are drawn into their foreheads, using a knife to just break the skin. As they age, the lines fade; an old man looks as if he’s spent his lifetime frowning. The women make beautiful marks on their skin in the same way – flowers around their navels, boxes with X’s or symmetrical curlicues inside them on their chests and cheeks, soft curves fanning out from the eyes… it amuses me to think that the crow’s feet we fear in the West are ornamental in Sudan. And I’ve grown less ashamed of the many scars I have on my body; for here, everyone has scars, whether they were put there by misfortune or design.

 

But unlike me, no one has any hair. An exaggeration, I grant; but it’s quite remarkable, nonetheless. With no need to trap heat using a coat, the Dinka have been blessed with perfectly smooth skin. Barely any eyebrows; sparse underarm hair; and there’s no need to wax the legs! Even the hair on their heads doesn’t grow more than a few inches; and so, human-like, braided hair is a common augmentation to their natural beauty. And it’s quite easy to identify someone of Arab descent – just look for the full head of hair, or the thick beard. Standing out like that must have been troublesome during the civil war years; but now, it is common to see the hairy head nodding to greet the head of short hair.

 

Even without long hair or braids, Dinka women are beautiful. Flat-out gorgeous. A scout for a modelling agency could live off the fat of the land here… They are tall and willowy (as are all Dinka – even those that live well do not put on more that a little roll around the belly), with slender heads and high cheekbones; and when you get one to smile, especially the embarrassed and flattered smile of the recently-complimented, it is like the sun after a thunderstorm. And though the years and the extraordinarily hard life of a Sudanese woman can make her grow haggard far too soon, sometimes, one will retain that beauty into her old age – though the measure of old age is different in countries with shorter life expectancies. I see a parallel: colours are brighter, here. Sugar is sweeter. Water is more refreshing.

 

I often catch myself staring at the beauty that is so extraordinary in a place that is sometimes so ugly. It shows in the children, too – when they are healthy. Children aren’t very highly valued, here, and sometimes neglect robs a child of a beauty that might shine out if they were properly cared for: dressed in clean clothes, fed well, hugged more often. But though there are beautiful girls, and beautiful women, and even beautiful boys, there are no beautiful men. I have waited, sure that the day I saw a Sudanese man who had the characteristics of authentic male beauty – that day would be one I would mark as a great day. It has not come. Somewhere along the way, a switch is flipped, and the boy that I could say was truly lovely, hardens, and becomes a man. I could call their appearance strong, serious, commanding… but not handsome.  There is no loveliness about them… unless you catch them in the middle of a laugh.

 

An anthropologist might say that the Dinka laugh because their lives are hard; their only recourse is to laugh at pain, for otherwise they would always be weeping. And they may be right; as I pen these reflections, some Dinka who have been displaced by violence in a nearby town are waiting outside a shelter for food, and they are clapping and singing to entertain themselves. But this reminds me of when Paul and Silas lay in prisoner’s chains, and yet praised God – not to please themselves, but to please their God; “and the other prisoners were listening to them”.[i]  When we suffer, do we simply look for solace, or do we also take the time to bless others, and our Lord?

 

An anthropologist might say that the Dinka love to fight because that is what they know; they were born or raised in war, bred in a culture of conflict and raw survival, and they have many good reasons to be angry. And they may be right; there is still an undercurrent of hostility towards “those difficult Arabs”…and yet, all the fighting I have known in my time here has been between Dinka and Dinka. This reminds me of when Peter cut off the ear of Malchus, the servant of the high priest – he too had good reason to be angry, and to fight; but “man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires”.[ii] Jesus rebuked him, and healed Malchus – and then allowed Himself to be led away to suffer by the very man whose suffering He had just removed.

 

On the one hand, the Dinka know the good life, sing despite hardship, work together and love their neighbours, behaving just like the only Son of Man who was good. On the other hand, they disregard Him and scramble for power and self-worth, instead of looking to the True Source of each. We sway in the same manner. The old man is quick to be angry; the new creation desires the peace which passes all understanding. This theme is universal. It runs through all men, not just the Dinka. You can see it yourself, in your own back yard, if you have the eye for it.

 

Despite my opening promise, I have talked on for three pages… and yet, this was just a little trip. It was only a rough sketch. If I had the time to write, and you had the time to read, I could shade it in, add perspective and depth, paint in some colour; or you could get up, board a plane, and take a longer journey. “Take the wings of the morning… settle on the far side of the sea”,[iii] and come see the Dinka with your own eyes. Or look at the people around you. Are they just scratches on canvas? Or do you perceive the intention of the Artist… espy the evidence that there is an Artist? Can you see that we are made in His image?


[iii] Psalm 139:9, mixed ESV and NIV

 

Thoughts on the Body of Christ

I recently read C.S. Lewis’ autobiography, Surprised by Joy, and found that he and I have some personality traits in common. I do not boast in this, for they are bad personality traits; “bad” because God found cause to weed them out of both of us. We hate (or once hated) most to be “interfered with”; our idea of the perfect lifestyle includes much solitude, the company of books and writing, and only as much interaction with people as we intentionally sought. But you know God… He shook C.S. Lewis out of it simply by being God – so undeniable, so glorious, that His very nature demands we abandon such self-absorption. And He shook me (or is shaking me) out of it using His image-bearers, the Body of Christ.

 

Gone is my tendency to call men too arrogant, boisterous, stupid, to be worth my time… and if you met the young men in my youth group at church, saw their fire for God, heard their hilarious and fascinating conversation, and joined in their love of honest, clean fun, it would cure you too. Gone is my hatred of large groups of people, and I no longer walk with a book in hand, ready to retreat when people get too noisy, emotional, boring, intrusive… and if you sat at dinner at Suzy’s table, laughing until your sides hurt, somehow having everyone get to say everything they felt like saying without talking over each other, finishing your meal and staying in the dining room for hours after, just to talk or play cards, you would love company too. Gone is my dread of meeting and greeting new people… and if you lived here, you too would grow to love the ritual of greeting your neighbours with every question you can think of: “Are you well? What’s up? What are you saying? Are you well in body? Is your wife good? Are you children well? Are your chickens well?” All these greetings are in Dinka, of course, but I’ll only translate the first and the last: Yin apuol? Ajith apuol?

 

I tell you, God is messing with my head. The old me left to go to college and didn’t miss her beloved family at all – not till it started snowing, anyway. Now, I’m even missing the folks who come here on short-term missions trips – people I only knew for a week, for crying out loud! Three years ago, it would have taken me a week just to learn their names. And you don’t even want to know how I feel about being away from home and all my friends – pieces of my heart are in Jamaica, in the U.S., in Israel… Oh, and leaving here is a prospect I don’t even want to entertain. How can I leave Suzy, who somehow alternates between being a girlfriend and a mother to me, depending on my need? How can I leave Kate, who has taught me so much about what kind of doctor I want to be? How can I leave Hannah and Agum and Jedi, and Aman and Nichol and ka-Sabet, the sweetest, most adorable, most eager-to-love-and-be-loved children I’ve ever met? How can I leave the Dinka?

 

Pastor Matt Tague went back to California after his mission trip here, and told his congregation this story from his team’s trip: On the Sunday when they were here, we visited a leper colony, and the night before, Sabet said to Pastor Matt, “Oh, by the way, you’re preaching.”  When we got there, we were blessed by the lepers’ singing and their amazing abandon in worship to God; and then they knelt down and began to chant. Sabet leaned over to Pastor Matt and said, “Oh, by the way, they’re Catholic.” Pastor Matt says inwardly he was like, “Is there anything else you want to tell me?! Like, are they Buddhist refugees too, man? You know, I missed that day in seminary; when they were teaching Preaching to Catholic Lepers in Sudan 101, I just happened to skip class.”  But he reached out to God, and in obedience, preached on Luke 8:43-48, the healing of the woman with the issue of blood. It was amazing… I can’t even describe to you how the Holy Spirit showed up that day, in His Personhood, not just as an “influence on the gathering”. There were two preachers there, Pastor Matt, and Sabet; and Sabet didn’t just translate – the Holy Spirit through him carried the message through with just as much intensity as Pastor Matt (and it is hard to match Pastor Matt’s intensity – *whew*). That’s what it’s like being part of the Body of Christ, which surpasses all barriers of geography, standard of living, stages of life, length of time as a Christian physical health… It is a true revelation to find that I can love someone almost instantaneously, because we know the all-encompassing Love, because we both embrace the truest Lover, because we are the Bride of Christ.

 

Ted Miyake, who came here for two weeks to help Sabet and Suzy prepare to build their new clinic, preached a sermon here in the compound about the Great Romance. For all eternity, Jesus Christ will be the Lamb who was slain, and we will be the Bride He died to redeem. Can you picture it? The marriage supper of the Lamb in Revelations 19 is the culmination of the continuing tale (a contradiction in terms, I know) of God making us into a bride worthy of His hand. He would do, has done, anything for us, including imparting His own righteousness to us, and take on our sin, and our death… I was thinking: you know those love songs, where the guy (usually it’s a guy) sings about all the ridiculous things he would do for the woman – swim across the ocean, bring her the moon, save her from anything and everything, be by her side at all times…? It’s impossible for him, but we forgive him his nonsense, because he’s carried away in the reflection of the love of God, the things that Christ has already done for us… Wow.

 

So how do I respond to that, Lord? Simply to remember that this is who we are. God had to teach me that His relationship with me, the times when we are alone together, is only part of the call He has on me. Everything I do should be done to glorify Him, first; and second, everything I do ought to go towards the building up of the Body of Christ (Ephesians 4:12-13, 16). The first step for me was to begin to love His people – and I’m finally learning that it’s really not that hard. You are now part of my reason for living, par t of the reason I finally love life. Of course, it means that life is a little rougher now. I’m experiencing the agonies of loving others: feeling their pain with almost physical intensity, feeling the frustration of not being able to help some of them, missing those whom I may never see again. But I’ll end this note with the famous quote from C.S. Lewis’ The Four Loves: “The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from the dangers of love is Hell.

My trip of reflection to Post War Sudan

Greetings to you all in the name of our Lord and King Jesus Christ!

I would like to call this trip to Southern Sudan, a country I call home, as a reflective trip that I had asked God to use as a means for me to reconnect with him and seek his purpose for my life.

 Even though I feel blessed to be living in the western country of Australia, I am so challenged by what I have seen and above all amazed by seeing what God is doing through people who dedicated themselves to serving God’s people in this part of the world.

Particularly I am amazed by What God is doing through the family of Sadet and Suzy  and their amazing medical team who are doing an incredible amount of work that I personally find it hard to believe if it were not for the loving grace of God.

The reason I felt so much challenged and touched by this trip is that my life experience of living in Australia as a Southern Sudanese Christian has been shaped to value and celebrate secular and worldly career oriented success more than what God can do through people who love him and obey his calling to serve.

My prayer for Sabet and Suzy’s family in Sudan is that God may continue to use them and provide for them to serve him for the glory of his kingdom.

Taban Alex

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