Cheebok from Tonj! “Cheebok” means “hello” or “How are you?” in Dinka.
Yesterday we landed in Tonj and were greeted by a large group of people that had come out to meet our plane. For years I have seen my husband’s pictures of his trips to Tonj, but none of those pictures could have prepared me for what I was about to see for myself, and more importantly, feel for myself. To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement of gigantic proportions! A few weeks ago in our women’s study of the heart we learned that ‘there are certain feelings, both joyous and sorrowful, that cannot be communicated no matter what sympathy and understanding may be present.” That is what I felt yesterday….a feeling that just cannot be communicated properly.
After our “welcoming party” we came to Sabet and Suzy’s compound and were given our rooms and then the best pb&j I have ever had! Suzy gave us all a tour of the compound and then it finally hit me…..What was I doing here? I’m never going to be able to make it through the next 10 days! This is too remote for me, too rural, too “not normal”. I was scared. I was anxious. It was hot. And I’m not cut out for this! Panic was setting in and there was no way out of here until next week. I started crying in my room and I think my husband was getting very worried that I was going to lose it! As it turned out, in the next few hours, all of the girls on the team got together and we all felt many of the same feelings. We all felt inadequate and useless and unsure of being able to serve the Lord and Sabet and Suzy in this capacity. I’m thankful for the truth we all shared last night and being able to lift each other up and throw truth at the situation. And the truth is….none of us are cut out for this! But God doesn’t call those He equips, He equips those He calls! And each one of us on this team have been called so therefore, God WILL equip us.
And today, He did! Today we awoke to so many animal noises that we just couldn’t decipher them all, but what a glorious morning it was. The air was cool, praise the Lord, and I just had to laugh at the fact that I was still in Sudan! Sheena, Danielle, Stacie and I all worked in the medical clinic today either counting drugs, doing wound care or helping with the prenatal care. Pastor Matt and Todd taught in the Pastor Discipleship Training center and Mike, Steve and Thadd worked really hard moving the pharmacy and building new shelves for all of the medicines. After lunch we went to a town named Tim Tuk to do our Kids games program. We were expecting about 50 kids and we ended up with about 120! We performed skits and told them about the love of Jesus for each one of them. Sabet did a great job translating all of the things we shared with the kids and then it was on to the World Water Bucket Competition! It is always a little tricky getting a large group of kids formed into 4 teams, but add in the fact that none of us speaks Dinka and we are all quite a mystery to these kids….needless to say, we should win the competition based solely on the fact that we got them in line! Team Red was the big winner (go Sheena!) The kids had a great time and amazingly…..so did I. God has answered my prayer to change my heart for this mission trip I am on. God has shown me that anxiety is rooted in control and it turns into fear when we KNOW we aren’t in control. I know I am not in control right now, not in this remote little town named Tonj in a country so far away from my home. He is showing me I’m not in control any other day in any other town either. And yet, I am at peace and happy to be where God has me today.